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So, yeah... I don't need to tell you that we're living in extremely tough times. We have tons of people out of work, and a government where both political parties are making sure that the criminals who caused our mess are getting off not only scott-free, but richer as well. People are getting desperate, and the more scummy people out there are here and ready to take advantage of this.
One such way to do this is to offer the ellusive "you do nothing, yet earn crazy money" scheme. Examples of these include, but are not limited to pyramid schemes, or multi-level marketing. They offer you a "path" to the most money with the least work. It's all a scheme, of course; there's NO such thing as easy money. But in desperate times, people make desperate decisions.
And the following group that I will discuss is one such scheme, or at least it seems to be. Their niche is "web-traffic generation." They say that you'll be making thousands of dollars a month if only you would follow their super simple formulas.
One caveat, though... I cannot reveal who this group is.
Why not???
Well... because they sometimes advertise on our sites. And I've always been about taking the money of scumbags.
Well, here are my thoughts as I watched their "REVOLUTIONARY WEB-TRAFFIC GENERATING TIPS." Follow along with me so that you don't get duped.
*NOTE: <i>This series is going to be in a very "stream-of-consciousness" style... basically my thoughts as they occur to me. If you don't like that kind of thing, well... fuck you.</i>*
<!--more-->Music is very hip hop themed... he has a very obvious hispanic accent... that and all this "bling" display; mansion, car, stacks of money (YES, HE LITERALLY GOES TO A BANK AND WITHDRAWS STACKS OF CASH, AND THEN SPREADS IT OUT ON HIS DESK)... This is NOT AT ALL designed to get at what he must consider a vulnerable urban audience, no?
After about an hour of showing me his "mad dough" and fancy horseless carriage...
"3 pillars" of high traffic academy scheme
Have to generate fast (That'd be nice)
Has to be scalable (maybe indication of pyramid scheme)
Has to be consistent (Duh!)
How do we do it? Ah, you have to buy it. Of course.
Pay traffic is the ONLY one to focus on? All the rest are junk?
No shortage of it, you say?
No article marketing? No SEO? Starting to sound like bullshit...
So, in order to generate, you have to advertise, huh. Didn't know that! Please, DO TELL!
Mystery word? Campaign. Ooookay
.
Sell somebody else's product? Huh?
Do it together? No thanks.
Oh, we have steps... here we go:
Step 1: Find something to sell
This is looking worse and worse...
[website link]... what the hell is this?
OH, this IS a crazy affiliate thing... Commissions? fuck you.
No WONDER you want me to do this at the same time... you'll prob get some money off of that.
OH IT'S MY HOMEWORK! I have to create an account! Fuck this and fuck you dude.
He has nothing to sell... RIGHT NOW. This looks promising.
Wait... that's it? No step 2??? OH THAT'S RIGHT. I gotta continue one this path before I reach that pot of internet gold, I suppose.
So, you may have noticed that there wasn't really much of substance written here. That's mostly because there wan't really much of substance presented. The first half of the video was just him tantalizing the viewer with images of his wealth, with LIBERAL doses of pie-in-the-sky statements like "its so easy," "it's [making money] like turning on a switch," and so on.
I'll be back with a review for the next videos in the series, if they send them.
UPDATE: Oh joy. I have indeed recieved the next one. This should be fun.
Catch ya.
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Wednesday, November 28, 2012
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